The Top 5 Ways to End The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

After spending a good one hundred hours (or more) saving the province of Skyrim from peril, defeating ancient evils and helping out countless citizens, what else is there for a hero to do?

Why, destroy the kingdom, of course!

5.) Assassin’s Creed everything. Play some good ‘ol hide-and-go-seek with town guards while killing all non-essential NPCs along the way. You’ll need some high-end sneak skills, a lot of good perks and some great assassin armor, but when the killing sprees get going it’s a heck of a lot of fun.

4.) Make your own personal army and raid the town. Basically, imagine if the A-Team swapped out Mr. T with a dragon. Examples of a good personal army include, but are not limited to: a heftily-armored companion, the Sanguine Rose (a Daedric artifact that summons a Dremora Lord), an armored troll (Dawnguard DLC exclusive), the Spectral Assassin, Odahviing the Dragon and a conjured flame atronach. And if you have Shadowmere, the Dark Brotherhood horse, throw him into the mix as well. If there were such a thing as a cookbook for destruction, this’d produce the ultimate souffle.

3.) Flame on! The master destruction spells are practically useless—with the exception of committing mass murder against innocent townspeople. The process is simple: get on top of a fairly high, hard-to-reach structure in any town, then unleash hell’s fury. Watch as women, soldiers and Argonians alike meet their doom at the flames of your homemade inferno. And if you have enough magic, you can repeat this with different elements to change seasons in a matter of seconds (I personally got three fire storms and two blizzards in before having to recharge magicka).

2.) You are getting sleepy, veeeerrryyyy sleeeeeepy. That’s right, jedi mind-tricking people. This one requires a bit of work, as you need master illusion spells as well as the trio of illusion perks on the far right side of their respective skill tree. But the effort’s well worth it, as when you get on top of a market stall and launch frenzy, all the townsfolk will drop everything and start stabbing anyone—and anything—in sight. When you follow it up with #3 on this list, it’s like getting a pony for Christmas. An Avatar the Last Airbender jedi pony.

1.) FURRY WRATH! Remember all those guards who taunted you with “you smell like wet dog,” “is that fur coming out of your ears” and other lycanthropy-related racial jabs? Well, they won’t think you’re man’s best friend after you rip their heads off. This’ll only be a cakewalk of delicious blood and gore if you have the majority of Werewolf perks (Dawnguard DLC required), but when your howl alone makes everyone run to a corner and cry, life is swell. Oh, and  throwing a guard outside city walls is pretty awesome by itself.

Well, that’s it, folks. Hope you enjoyed these morbid and shockingly entertaining ways to wrap up your Skyrim character’s life and screw over your master save file!

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