Who’s going to win Best Picture: Birdman
Who SHOULD win Best Picture: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes/ Gone Girl
Both DotPotA and Gone Girl are downright exceptional movies. Gone Girl manages to be David Fincher funny with Prisoners-level dramatic, and has the best lead actress in decades. DotPotA got me more emotionally invested in CGI monkeys than any of the humans of other movies last year. Did Birdman do anything remotely exceptional? No, besides some crafty camerawork.
Who’s going to win Best Actor: Michael Keaton
Who SHOULD win Best Actor: Jake Gyllenhaal/ Steve Carell
I just don’t see anything special in Keaton’s performance. I mean, it’s good, sure, but nowhere near Oscar level. Gyllenhaal, on the other hand, BECAME A DIFFERENT HUMAN BEING. I mean, he went into the role as Jake, and came out as a psychopath. Literally. THAT is acting. Steve Carell is the closest we got to that kind of transformation, as far as the actual nominees go.
Who’s going to win Best Supporting Actor: J.K. Simmons
Who SHOULD win Best Supporting Actor: Robert Duvall
Simmons is typecast as the loud asshole in movies, and so when he does it very well yet again, does he really deserve this kind of praise? Duvall, on the other hand, clearly stepped outside his comfort zone to tackle a harrowing character and he gave a damn fine and more importantly, SPECIAL, performance.
Who’s going to win Best Actress: Julianne Moore
Who SHOULD win Best Actress: ROSAMUND PIKE!!!!!!
Julianne Moore is nothing more than an Oscar poster-child, fuck that. Rosamund Pike, however, managed to do the impossible: she upstaged Ben Affleck in his own movie. Typically, when I see a big movie, the lead female always seems to be trying a bit too hard, always trying to be taken seriously but achieving the opposite. Rosamund Pike transcended this gender line, however, and managed to trounce AFFLECK! If that is not the crowning achievement this year for actresses everywhere, I don’t know what is. She was sooooo good. I bought her role, and I rarely buy in to the kind of role she plays. I just can’t speak enough praises about it. Go see Gone Girl, and behold the glory of Rosamund Pike.
Who’s going to win Best Animated Feature Film: How to Train Your Dragon 2
Who SHOULD win Best Animated Feature Film: Big Hero 6
This one I’m a little less passionate about, compared to the others. I liked Big Hero 6 more, personally, but will be happy to see a non-Disney movie win it for a change. So that’s cool. Not to mention I’m over-the-top excited that the steaming pile of shit known as the Lego Movie isn’t getting recognized. Phew.
Who’s going to win Best Original Score: The Theory of Everything – Johann Johannsson
Who SHOULD win Best Original Score: The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – Hans Zimmer
While Zimmer IS nominated for Interstellar, that score is literally a single track that he warped a couple of times to create “different” songs. Pffft. His real gem of this year was TASM2’s score, one of the most rip-roaring, experimental and heroic soundtracks I’ve ever heard. So godamn good. Not that I’m knocking Johannsson, he’s great too, I’m just saying that I think the extremely vibrant, unique and bad-ass Zimmer score should win.
Who’s going to win Best Visual Effects: Interstellar
Who SHOULD win Best Visual Effects: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
I called CGI all throughout Interstellar. A good-looking movie? Sure. Anywhere NEAR DotPotA? Not even close. I fucking believed that those were monkeys, okay? I mean, I knew they weren’t, but for two hours I believed wholeheartedly that the directors had found a breed of super-chimp that could take acting direction on a set while speaking and riding horses. Those visual-simian-effects were UNREAL, or, as the case may be, too real.
And those are the only categories I really care about, although for best foreign film I wish Snowpiercer had gotten some recognition, either last year or this year. That’s a shame. And, let us not forget, that I think the Oscars is a joke as an award show overall, so this list is nothing more to me than some trivial thoughts from the back of my head. Because, at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter who wins a little naked golden man tonight, but rather who you liked the most. You pay the winner with your ticket, and that’s what counts.