“Lights Out” Review

maxresdefault (1)I hate horror. Absolutely hate it. And I am here to report that I, king of the Cinematic Horror Pussies Society, survived Lights Out with barely any effort.

In short, it’s not scary.

Here’s the scoop: a few cheap jumpscares are all that’s on sale here. The lights are out! Scary demon chick is closer. The lights are on! Now she’s gone. The lights are back off! Oh look she’s teleported right in front of the camera to eat the main character’s face off. Big whoop.

That’s the entirety of the horror. That situation plays out a couple times throughout the movie’s hour and a half duration, then the theatre lights turn on and everyone goes home without the need to buy a new pair of shorts.

The one real positive I can give Lights Out is its decently intriguing characters. I’m not saying I cared about any of them, but I didn’t exactly want to watch them die. So, yeah. Hurray for elementary yet effective character development.

Somewhat related; the boyfriend in this movie is too smart for the horror genre. Seriously, his character is written as a massive “what real people would do in this situation” vehicle. It’s awesome but underwhelming at the same time, as it saps most of the hopelessness out of the various horror scenarios.

Rating: Eh. Good date movie. Not good for much else.

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