“Suicide Squad” Review

I can’t boycott DC movies. I just can’t. Even though they’re perpetually shit, they’re still a great time killer with friends and for that reason I either give up socializing and maintain my morals, or vise versa. Enjoy the blood money, WB.suicidesquad.jpg

If you haven’t guessed, Suicide Squad is the deliciously fruitless follow-up to BvS, two hours of proof that Warner Bros. still doesn’t have a fucking clue what they’re doing. There is NO plot, as literally every major beat is hindered with plot holes so thick that the entire thing reads like a legitimate Wattpad fan-fiction, and as such the story is irrelevant. The only saving graces of the movie are found in Deadshot, Harley Quinn, the Joker and El Diablo, characters written with some semblance of intrigue. Beyond that, the movie is certified piss.

-Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Jared Leto and Jay Hernandez provide great performances for somewhat interesting characters
-A few very, very brief but cool shots (including one with a revolver at the very end)
-Decent soundtrack

-The fucking trailer house got to make the final cut of this movie (rather than the director), and as such it’s crammed with annoying stylization and upbeat tunes that conflict with the core film’s actual tone
-The majority of characters in this movie are either written like piss, performed like piss or a combination of both
-The plot is probably the most contrived piece of shit to hit theatres since Batman V Superman
-Blatantly unentertaining for long stretches
-An emo kid’s bath salt dream

In conclusion: if you love movies with awful, abysmally constructed plots and bad characterizations set to a playlist of jaunty tunes, give Suicide Squad a shot.

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